Great listen ive been bullied my white men with less work experience in authority then myself only to backed up by black in mexican men,lowering my authority
having to fire some folks to reestablish (my title earned) which caused me emotional damage 💔 😢
So sorry to hear that. Its unfortunate— here in El Paso unfortunately the prejudice against black people exists which is wild since its all hispanics here. Its just easier to scapegoat differences as a means to avoid the dysfunction that lives throughout the city🫠
"my nervous system had become so convinced i was the problem."
i too am learning to get out of this. this story hit so hard for me...
leaving one profession as a safetyprofessional (i and worked in schools too in this transition... it's what made me choose therapy instead of school counseling... i saw all the things you named) and now entering another field... and even in the therapy world (aren't people supposed to be trained on this shit?... like, do your work and stop projecting????) and seeing these workplace dynamics in the internship process and other professional settings.
and i HAVE spoken up as a safety professional in the past when experiencing work place abuse, and it's gotten me in trouble ( and i didn'thave a supportnetworkat home to lean into) ... and currently i'm fawning in a workplace dynamic because i'm dependent on it to feed my kids and get through school...
i could really write a dissertation on this... and i'm also trying to reclaim a part of my family lineage of distilling ( but my drug of choice more about art and creativity, words, art....instead of alcohol 🌀) and not make it perfect or have to fi
so yes, this is ripe.
what i'm noticing is my energy is limited... and there are spaces and relationships that bring me peace and joy... so i'm trying to stop jumping into the fight... and stop putting myself in positions where the fights and the dynamics have access to me...
these dynamics are sooooo long-lived and intergenerational...
and i also think there are enough people out there who see and get these things... and are willing to do their work and show up differently. i'm trying to surround myself and build community and connections with things that feel in alignment vs. fighting or standing up for myself all the time.
girl, let me tell you, there are days where i know the power that i have... and i could really stand up and destroy from a place of justice... speak the truth and stand in activism...
i'm trying to reframe that energy now into pouring my love into joy and healthy connections.
i think about how i tried to leave the south so that i could raise my kids away from the discrimination and dysfunction... but i've reached a tolerable acceptance that it's everywhere. it just comes in different shades and hides at different levels.
but maybe, again, that's why i feel an affinity to sex therapy. really leaning into what brings me pleasure... but not just that. using the frameworks of communication, giving, taking, receiving, navigating conflict, differences, preferences, power/control dynamics... and noticing that when people are willing to talk about how we do that, i have so much more fun.
and it's not just about sex... but it is about the intimacy and how we relate to each other. and treat each other. i think they all go hand in hand.
anyways, thank you for writing this. it definitely helped me process something that's been put in the corner and saved for later... and i had forgotten about it.
but i need to remember... i'm still working on this. and it's part of my practice.
i'm still in awe of all the parallels, and i so appreciate you.
School systems in my opinion are just not worth it to work in. I watched so many teachers get no support with difficulty students and parents. One teacher died from a brain aneurysm, many had severe levels of stress due to the amount of bullying that took place. Watching teachers bully kids
Its disgusting.
Unfortunately the dynamics exist everywhere. Its truly what you make of it. I am learning those who do not speak up get bullied more. So many people I work with deal with workplace abuse in this city. Its like what we can’t control at home we take to the workplace and bully people there because we know some of them will take it due to needing to provide for their family.
The way some threaten peoples livelihood because they can..
Great listen ive been bullied my white men with less work experience in authority then myself only to backed up by black in mexican men,lowering my authority
having to fire some folks to reestablish (my title earned) which caused me emotional damage 💔 😢
So sorry to hear that. Its unfortunate— here in El Paso unfortunately the prejudice against black people exists which is wild since its all hispanics here. Its just easier to scapegoat differences as a means to avoid the dysfunction that lives throughout the city🫠
"my nervous system had become so convinced i was the problem."
i too am learning to get out of this. this story hit so hard for me...
leaving one profession as a safetyprofessional (i and worked in schools too in this transition... it's what made me choose therapy instead of school counseling... i saw all the things you named) and now entering another field... and even in the therapy world (aren't people supposed to be trained on this shit?... like, do your work and stop projecting????) and seeing these workplace dynamics in the internship process and other professional settings.
and i HAVE spoken up as a safety professional in the past when experiencing work place abuse, and it's gotten me in trouble ( and i didn'thave a supportnetworkat home to lean into) ... and currently i'm fawning in a workplace dynamic because i'm dependent on it to feed my kids and get through school...
i could really write a dissertation on this... and i'm also trying to reclaim a part of my family lineage of distilling ( but my drug of choice more about art and creativity, words, art....instead of alcohol 🌀) and not make it perfect or have to fi
so yes, this is ripe.
what i'm noticing is my energy is limited... and there are spaces and relationships that bring me peace and joy... so i'm trying to stop jumping into the fight... and stop putting myself in positions where the fights and the dynamics have access to me...
these dynamics are sooooo long-lived and intergenerational...
and i also think there are enough people out there who see and get these things... and are willing to do their work and show up differently. i'm trying to surround myself and build community and connections with things that feel in alignment vs. fighting or standing up for myself all the time.
girl, let me tell you, there are days where i know the power that i have... and i could really stand up and destroy from a place of justice... speak the truth and stand in activism...
i'm trying to reframe that energy now into pouring my love into joy and healthy connections.
i think about how i tried to leave the south so that i could raise my kids away from the discrimination and dysfunction... but i've reached a tolerable acceptance that it's everywhere. it just comes in different shades and hides at different levels.
but maybe, again, that's why i feel an affinity to sex therapy. really leaning into what brings me pleasure... but not just that. using the frameworks of communication, giving, taking, receiving, navigating conflict, differences, preferences, power/control dynamics... and noticing that when people are willing to talk about how we do that, i have so much more fun.
and it's not just about sex... but it is about the intimacy and how we relate to each other. and treat each other. i think they all go hand in hand.
anyways, thank you for writing this. it definitely helped me process something that's been put in the corner and saved for later... and i had forgotten about it.
but i need to remember... i'm still working on this. and it's part of my practice.
i'm still in awe of all the parallels, and i so appreciate you.
Thank you for sharing this!!
School systems in my opinion are just not worth it to work in. I watched so many teachers get no support with difficulty students and parents. One teacher died from a brain aneurysm, many had severe levels of stress due to the amount of bullying that took place. Watching teachers bully kids
Its disgusting.
Unfortunately the dynamics exist everywhere. Its truly what you make of it. I am learning those who do not speak up get bullied more. So many people I work with deal with workplace abuse in this city. Its like what we can’t control at home we take to the workplace and bully people there because we know some of them will take it due to needing to provide for their family.
The way some threaten peoples livelihood because they can..